In Which Lois Survives Her First Semester

Hey, it's me again. Don't look so disappointed, this is MY BLOG, as I've reiterated countless times on numerous occasions. I expect you've come for some entertainment, a word or two of advice, pearls of wisdom, perhaps even a cookie? Well, you've come to the right place!

(If you'd like a cookie, just drop me a comment and I'll send you one, right away.)

Just in case you're currently experiencing a brain spasm, and therefore wondering what I'm wearing as I sit here and type this, I'll tell you. Pajamas. Yes. It should be an inalienable right; a nationally, no globally, embraced holiday. One should set aside one day each week to parade around in their pajamas.

"Scientific" research has concluded that health and longevity correlate proportionally to how much time one spends in their pajamas. Allow me to pause and demonstrate how one should properly celebrate GWYPD.(Global Wear Your Pajamas Day)

*Enter Pause*

Lois proceeds to jump on the bed, climb a tree, jump on the trampoline, jump on Jimmy, run from Jimmy, and do a happy dance as she manages to escape Jimmy's clutches by locking the door to her room; all while wearing her pajamas.

*End Pause*

This is how things should be done. It must be mentioned, however, that Jimmy strongly objects to any person weighing in excess of 200 lbs. jumping on him. Unfortunately, this means that people who weigh more than 200 lbs. are discouraged from participating in GWYPD. In fact, they are prohibited from celebrating GWYPD altogether; which brings me to the reason I am writing this post in the first place.
I MADE THE PRESIDENT'S LIST!!!

Oh, how I enjoy giving people mental whiplash. Naturally, the above paragraphs are not even triflingly related to the former sentence. That's the beauty of experiencing mental whiplash, you don't even know what hit you until I explain it.

Speaking of explaining things, I'm sure you're wondering at the monstrously deplorable state of disrepair our school system suffers from, considering the fact that I made the President's List. Contrary to what you're thinking, I did not hire an expertly skilled ninja to threaten my College President with assassination should he fail to add my name to his list. I'd looked into it, of course, but it's far too expensive...and, at a stretch, morally questionable. No, I earned my A's by working hard, praying, and studying; which apparently is the second most recommended way to make the President's List.

A is for Accounting...

Without a doubt, this class was the hardest I took this semester. Accounting is organized, precise, and logical. It spits on creativity. Basically, Accounting is a free-spirit's worst nightmare. If you step a single toe out of line, mess up one teensy number, incorrectly label an account...you've failed. Miserably. In this situation, you, the miserable failure, will have to go back through all the work you've done, retrace all the information you have, and cross-examine every single account until the total number of debits equals the total number of credits. If you've done this, good for you, nobody cares. You're only possibly correct, if not entirely wrong. Just because you've managed to come up with the right sum for both columns, doesn't mean that you've correctly debited and/or credited the correct account. So you go back and look everything over, making sure that the total of each respective account has been properly recorded. Again. By this time, your eyes will be popping out of your head, and your brain should feel like mush. If you've reached this stage, rejoice! You're nearly done! Total the columns and pray that your calculator is working properly. If the sums match, you're done. And that's only a tiny, basic part of Accounting. I mean, we haven't even gone into evaluating accounts based on market fluctuation. A word to those who think Accounting is easy: you disturb me.

The Lord gave me the grace to work hard and study, enough to barely make it out of the class with an A. Hopefully, that's the last I'll ever have to see of Accounting.


Computer Information Science...

Or, Computer Information Systems, but this is what my Professor called it. My Professor for this class was a sweet old man who hadn't the minutest clue what he was doing in a class of 20 teenagers. Honestly. The confused, slightly perplexed look he wore perpetually testified to this fact. He didn't teach us...he gave us a PowerPoint presentation of our CIS book, which we had purchased for an absurd amount of money, and read from it in class. For 2 1/2 hours. Interspersed throughout the fascinating monotony of this lecture were comments on how different computers were 20 years ago, and his amazement at the speed with which CD's had replaced floppy disks. Seriously, during the third week of class, as soon as he began talking, for 2 1/2 hours all I heard was a buzzing sound in my ears. This would have been problematic, had not all my tests been open book. And my assignments idiot-proof. In order to fail an assignment, you'd have to not do it. In order to fail a test, you'd have to be illiterate. A disturbing fact was that some people were, indeed, failing the class. Over achieving show-offs. They worked much harder than us 'A' students. Since I had aced all of my tests, my Professor informed me that it was unnecessary for me to complete my two remaining assignments or take my final. So, with great shame, and a healthy amount of guilt, I accepted my 'A' in his class.

Volleyball...

The difficulty of this class nearly drove me insane. I literally had to roll out of bed at 7 in the morning, pull on some loose clothing, eat, and go to school. THEN, I actually had to show up for class! Can you imagine? For all of this hard work and dedication, my reward was a measly 'A'. Will horrors never cease!

Mathematics...
Boy, am I glad this class was over with 10 weeks ago.

So, really, the only A's I'm proud of achieving this semester are the ones from Accounting and Mathematics. The ones I actually worked for.

Congratulate yourself. You've just finished reading the brief synopsis of all my classes for this semester. Did I mention I made the President's List? Funny thing about the President's List. For the first time in my life, I've one-upped Jimmy on something, albeit by default. As a student, you have to take at least 12 units worth of classes in order to make the President's List. Jimmy's piano class counted for 1.5 units, causing him to miss making the President's List by .5 units! Haha! I'm deliriously happy. Uh-oh.

*Lois runs to her room and locks the door*

No, actually, Jimmy deserved to make the President's List this semester, and I'm disappointed for him. There's always next semester.

I want to leave you all with this thought. It's Mom's thought, actually. I was borrowing her MacArthur's Study Bible this morning, and a little note fell out of it that completely made my day.

' "For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. - Romans 5:6"
Without strength to train, to live right...Christ died for my ungodly moments, hours, days, years!'

Thank You, Lord, for a great first semester at Cerritos!

**~L~**-**~L~** Top Ten Things I Love About College **~L~**-**~L~**

1. Sitting in the amphitheater and eating dinner with Jimmy, while he stares intently at random passerby trying to get them to glance in his direction by using his formidable brain power.

2. Laughing at Jimmy's antics until I choke on my food.

3. Opening Gatorade bottles for girls who are too skinny to do it themselves.

4. That point of despair before receiving your results when you know you've failed your test and will fail every other test you take for all eternity, until the realization that it's all in Lord's hands hits you like a ton of bricks.

5. The determination and drive that overcomes you when you do fail your test, and the commitment you make to yourself to study harder, and ace the next one.

6. Not having to work out for a full 18 weeks because you're rushing from class to class like a frenzied rabbit and skipping breakfast and lunch.

7. Just touching the ball so that it barely tips over the net and watching 5 people dive for it simultaneously.

8. Never letting my schooling interfere with my education.

9. Pretending to fall asleep in the library, while in reality eavesdropping on a debate about social science.

10. Making the President's List.

Of College and Test Results

Hello my dear, sweet, lovely, beautiful readers! Welcome to you too, you handsome, rugged...thing...you... (One of the perks of coming on my blog: you come away feeling absolutely fantastic; in much the same way you would if you were to visit a nursing home on a sunny Sunday afternoon.) By the way, if you don't do that too often, make it a priority. So, I took a test last Monday.



I hate tests.

I went in, fully prepared, or so I thought. I figured, I've got 90% of my score already, for the other 10% I'll just have to smile and look pretty. Fat chance. I took one look at my test and passed out. Correction: I took one look at the second page of my test and nearly passed out. It was as if I had studied for an English exam and the professor handed the test to me in Greek. Not all of the problems were hard, but there were a couple of head-spinners in the bunch. So I was ambling along, doing the best I could, and stressing because the minutes were flying by way faster than they had any right to. I snuck a glance in Jimmy's direction; the small plume of smoke and the acrid smell of burning paper emanating from his corner of the room irritated my sensitive nasal cavity. I sighed, returned to my stubborn math problem, which still hadn't solved itself, drew a little arrow pointing to the question, and moved on.

One hour and twenty minutes into the test, this scrawny kid with curly black hair left wild(not brushed, and most probably unwashed) strolled up to the desk nonchalantly. He hitched up his pants with one finger from each hand after handing in his test. "You're finished?" asked Miss Mariani, with an incredulous look on her face. By " an incredulous look", I mean a look that clearly implied: "Kid, based on your behavior in class so far you're really not smart enough to complete this test in a half hour, so I suggest you grow a brain and review your answers before you fail this class with a 'W'." Really, I felt insulted at that moment. In a weird way, I felt insulted that he didn't care enough about this class to put in more effort than a paltry 40 minutes.


Do you know HOW I know this kid was lazy beyond comprehension? Because Jimmy wasn't done yet, and Jimmy is a genius. Not to brag about how smart and awesome my brother is (fail) but Einstein doesn't hold a candle to him. Seriously. Forget the fact that I'm his sister, Jimmy is lighting fast. Then this kid has the audacity, after being one of the most ill-behaved kids in the class, (when you're not paying attention, how can you possibly learn?) to hand in his test early!?? His test results will not be high, which goes to prove all kinds of points.


I was practically the only student who got up to clarify a problem and ask a few questions. Hey, I don't care if I look dumb, if I score a little higher, then its worth it. So, I'm getting to the end of my test, with a couple of problems left, and Miss Mariani announces that we have 5 minutes left. Then and there I made a decision. I really didn't care that the test was timed, Miss Mariani would have to pry that test from my cold dead fingers to get it back, because I wasn't turning it in until I was good and ready. That's how I had the honor of being the last person to turn in my test. After an agonizing week-long wait....we received our results. Jimmy scored 99.5% and I scored a respectable 89%, missing an 'A' by two points. I'm still thankful though, because I've gotten 100% on everything else she's given us, so I'm fairly confident that I'll end the semester with an 'A'. Jimmy had the nerve to voice his disappointment that he didn't score 100%. hah. Half the class shot him dirty looks.



**~**~**~ TOP TEN WORST THINGS ABOUT COLLEGE~**~**~**

* Guys who think they look incredible, strumming away at their guitars while humming soulfully off-key in the amphitheater, need to think again.

* Every day I witness the merciless slaughter of the English language.

* If I close my eyes, I can smell a Fohawk-wearing guy 300 ft. away, his hair has more product in it than a girls'. (Easy on the Pantene for Men Spray Gel, guys. Specifically, easy on the Fohawks.)

* Please explain to me how blond dreadlocks became legal.

*If you are girl, you shouldn't wear skinny jeans...if you are a bigger girl you should ABSOLUTELY never wear skinny jeans...it takes a staggering amount of self-discipline NOT to throw up on a GUY wearing skinny jeans.

* If I have to run after another bus yelling and screaming like a crazy person only to miss it by 20 feet, I cannot take responsibility for my actions.

* I sit next to a guy, and my nails aren't painted, but his are. *_*

* There's enough bass in the Techno R&B they play live on campus to bounce me from class to class.

*I get the feeling that if I pull someone's earbud out, their ear will come off with it. That's what happens when you never remove an object, the body adopts it.

* My backpack is so heavy, I'm going to have shoulders bigger than Shaq's by the end of the semester.


~**~**~**~**~**~

Our teacher Miss Mariani immigrated from Crete. If Italians are from Italy, Romanians are from Romania, and Indians are from India...shouldn't it follow that Cretins come from Crete?
Sorry, bad joke. I really like her, but she gives us too much homework.