WWIII

Despite the fact that my deltoid is numb, my subscapularis is sore, my infraspinatus barely functions, and I may never regain feeling in my left pinky again, I have decided to suffer for your sake, dear reader, and post about my trip to Big Bear. It was epic. Prepare to be amazed.

Wednesday:

Remember the Stevens family, the one you should be especially nice to lest they use their obscenely large collection of embarrassing photographs against you? I drove up with them. Them being Rach, Becca, Drew, and Mrs. Stevens. We met up with Kyle, Phillip, Timmy, Paul and Justin (the guy who appreciates a good argument) at our resort. We played Apples to Apples (possibly the worst game I've ever had the misfortune of playing, second only to Missionary Conquest.) and just enjoyed each other's company. We took a trip down to the lake to test the integrity of the snow. It was more than satisfactory. It was poofy, powdery, white, fluffy awesomeness. Rach and I tried to climb some trees, but we were...*ahem* rudely interrupted at every turn. It's hard to defend yourself against snowballs when you can't budge a square inch because you don't know from which direction they're coming from. The lake was gorgeous! The scenery, breathtaking! I'm sure Rach and Em will post pictures, so make sure you check out their blogs...not now! Finish reading mine first. *cough* Please.

After dinner, Justin and Kyle corrupted us young innocents by teaching us how to play different versions of poker. Don't worry, we used trains as chips. Plastic trains. Teeny ones. By this time, the Oautus had arrived. (When you read Andrew, I mean Andrew Oautu. When you read Drew, I mean Andrew Stevens. It takes too long to type Stevens and Oautu.) At one point, Andrew asked Kyle, who had folded, for advice on how to play his hand. Kyle, after thinking for a few seconds: "You should do this...because, I know things. "

According to Johnny, who unofficially kept track, this was the first memorable quote of the entire trip. Cristeen had the most hilarious luck during those games. If Cristeen went all in, in a real game, we'd have folded. Emily, Ricky, and Stephen showed up at around 11 p.m., miraculously intact. (Stephen's not exactly famous for his cautious driving.) It was a fun time of fellowship, but we all turned in fairly early. (One's definition of "early" is relative.)

Thursday Morning:

We met up at the Oautu's apartment for breakfast and gathered around for a discussion time. Mr. Oautu shared from Joshua 14. I was encouraged by the reminder that God is bigger than the "giants" we face in life.

Thursday Afternoonish:

We were all eager to get to the snow, but it took us a teensy bit longer than we had expected to get there. Once we found a good spot, (good meaning free of charge) the guys did what they do best and started pelting us girls with massive snowballs. The odds, 5 to 11, were slightly in their favor. Thus began WWIII. (Warner War. Clever, no? Meh. For the sake of argument, we'll assume that there have been at least two snowball fights involving Warnerites.) I attempted to strategize and make use of the terrain, but all my efforts produced were five good (big) snowballs in the face from Kyle, before Becca got to him, and too many to count from Stephen, Drew, Ricky, and all the rest. I wisely beat a hasty retreat.

We didn't think the area we were in was a good place for sledding, so we hiked around looking for greener pastures before ending up in the exact same spot. By the time we circled around the place, we had gained a deep sense of appreciation for our original spot, which, as it turns out, was PERFECT for sledding! :-) Funny how perspective changes things.

We girls displayed such poise and beauty. Models of grace! Paradigms of elegance! Poetry in motion! Not once did our step falter, causing us to faceplant in the snow. For $100 an hour, you too can learn to ride a sled with refinement. It goes like this: WHOOSH! *kersplat* ..."I'm ok!"

It was great fun, and we were all ravenous by the time we got back to our apartment.

After A Very Late Lunch:

Drew, Stephen, Andrew, and I ditched everyone else to play Rummikub. We didn't feel like playing Dutch Blitz. I had never played it the "American" way, which quickly became obvious. Drew beat out Stephen by a narrow margin. Mr. Oautu taught us how to play the "Romanian" way, for some variety. That was hilarious. It was fun in part because I won, but mostly because of Drew's facial expressions as he picked up tile after worthless, unhelpful tile every single turn. Priceless. He had won the first game, though, so we weren't feeling too sorry for him. We joined the others to play my favoritist game in the whole entire world...Apples to Apples. One learns a few disconcerting things whilst playing that game. Namely that oil changes are serene, afros are more bizarre than the Bermuda Triangle, and that Jack Frost is harder and faster than a wrecking ball. It wouldn't have been so bad if we'd had the party edition. My travel edition was sorely lacking in interesting cards; once we'd been through the deck five times, it got old. Thankfully, we only went around the room once before Kyle won. We watched a documentary about Oswald Chambers that wouldn't have been half bad if someone had thought to edit it first. Every kernel of trivia-esque information, such as the seminary he attended, was followed by a sort of music video in which the artist acted out the lyrics in a painfully obvious way. "The chill of winter..."**The lady singing puts her hands in her pockets and shivers while gazing longingly at....a tree ** One particularly disturbing scene focused entirely on the singer's lips, nose, and eyelashes. No thank you. Plus, the weird camera angles made everyone look obese. The parts that were good, I really enjoyed, but I would have liked to hear more about his life and trials. Ah well, at least it got me interested in the book Abandoned to God, so it served it's original purpose. :-)

After Dinner:

We discussed all the bizarre foods we'd ever heard of. I think Kyle's "food" won: fermented seal guts. That's pretty sick. In retrospect, it probably wasn't the best topic we could have chosen to settle our dinner. I made a comment about lobsters that I would like to correct. It was one of the many unfortunate "blonde moments" I'm perpetually experiencing. I claimed that lobsters scream if boiled. Frankly, it's just not possible.

a) They don't have vocal chords.

b) If there is any noise at all when the lobster hits the pot, it might be air coming out of its stomach through its mouth parts. Plus, invertebrates have such a primitive nervous system that they supposedly feel no pain.

I do apologize if any of you found this tidbit of false information interesting and have therefore wasted no time in telling everyone you know about it.

Next time you have lobster for dinner, feel free to be as cruel and inhumane as possible, apparently it don't make no difference to the critter. (Gotta love Google.)

Friday Morning:

We had breakfast burritos! They were so delicious I'm including them in this post. A symphony for your palate! Are you a fan of delicious flavor? It was the first time I tried something like that...they were goood. After breakfast, Justin read Proverbs for the day, and Mr. Oautu discussed some of the verses with us. I was reminded to practice serving cheerfully at home, where perhaps I'm not praised and appreciated as often as I'd like.

Friday Afternoon:

By the time everything was packed up, it was fairly late. We drove down to the lake and parked next to a gift shop/tourist trap. A brilliant idea struck me. Thankfully it didn't hurt. With yesterday's embarrassing failure still fresh in my memory, I conferred with my Lieutenant (Becca) and rallied the forces (Em, Cristeen, and Rach). The enemy had infiltrated our ranks, planting a spy (Timmy) in our midst. My Lieutenant and I rescheduled our plan of attack so that we would maintain the element of surprise. Our first victim never knew what hit him. Kyle was smothered under a white avalanche as 10 snowballs successively exploded against his chest. As we won victory after glorious victory, their casualties grew. Cristeen was our weapon of mass destruction. They never suspect the cute one. Stephen, Ricky, Justin, Andrew, Paul, Drew, Timmy all died magnificently. We were hungry after such a masterful display of genius, so we ate lunch. Well, we all did...even the casualties.

We had another decisive battle next to the lake, but a truce was called since we couldn't feel our fingers anymore. Friends for the moment, we took a hike. We were trekking merrily around the lake when I very astutely noticed that the surrounding area looked familiar. Enter: memorable quote number 2.

Me: "Hey! We're next to that boat place thingie!"

Drew: "The dock?!"

Whatever. Boat place thingie makes way more sense. Unfortunately, I think that has earned an infamous spot on Johnny's memorable quotes list.

Around 4 p.m. the truce was called off and we headed back to the woods next to the parking lot to find the perfect place for our last stand. A word of advice. Don't ever get into a fight with Stephen Weston. He aims to kill. It doesn't matter who you are, where you live, or how old you are...he will mop the floor with you. Literally. (Considering the fact we had a snowball fight.) Snowballs. Wet. Mop. Get it? Get it? Never mind. Quite simply, you mess with Stephen, you die.

Personally, I think he was still bitter about the events preceding lunch and wanted to exact some revenge. He did. They all did. We were laughing hysterically pretty much the entire time. Tragically, I managed to duck right into one of Andrew's missiles. Rachel was bravely launching snowball after snowball across from where Emily and I were holding down the fort. Becca and Cristeen were blurs of motion. Anyone caught in the middle of the field got bombarded with a barrage of snowballs from every angle. Drew found himself in that situation once too often. Every time he'd get up after a bad hit, he'd pack a snowball and yell "Who's laughing?!" I'm sorry to report that although we girls won a battle, the guys won WWIII. (I did manage to plonk Stephen, Kyle, Justin, Paul, and Drew pretty good before they clobbered me. ) We girls came out of it looking...well, looking like something the cat wouldn't bother dragging in. It was the most fun I've had in a while. I vote to make it a yearly excursion. Any takers?

On our way down the mountain, we (the fun car) played 20 Questions. Well, Becca, Drew, Em, Rach, and I started off playing 20 questions, but ended up just playing Questions, especially when Drew chose a word. It took us about half and hour to guess light bulb, while Drew had a blast at our expense.

"Is it electric?" Yes.

"Do people use it often?" ...Yes.

"Does it give off light?" Yes.

"A lamp?" No.

"A night light?" No.

"Ceiling lights?" No.

"A computer?" No.

"The little red light that flashes on smoke detectors?" ...No.

"Is it electric?" **snickers**

~The End~

I was so incredibly blessed by everyone on this trip! You girls were such an especially incredible encouragement! I so appreciated the sweet time of fellowship we shared together. This trip is a memory I'm going to treasure. Thank you Lord for your love, and for the wonderful, safe time You gave us all! :-)